Congratulations on your purchase of this fine vehicle! Before you begin operating your Smogmobile 2000™, you should familarize yourself with some of its special features.
When encountering hazardous road conditions at night, Panic-Sensitive Headlights will turn off, protecting you from the stress of seeing your impending doom.
Caution! Does not prevent stress during daylight hours.
To evade pursuers, activate the Anti-Pursuit Wheel Ejection System, then take a hard right turn. The wheel will continue down the road while you escape down a side street.
Danger! Damage to the car caused by driving with three wheels may not be covered by insurance; check with your agent first.
To avoid unnecessary delays involving the police, the Smogmobile 2000™ will emit a protective blue cloud to conceal you from the authorities.
Warning! This actually alerts the authorities to your presence.
Your Smogmobile 2000™ is equipped with a state-of-the-art security system. The driver’s door can only be opened by following these four steps:
Notice! This will annoy your passengers to no end.
Your Smogmobile 2000™ comes equipped with a carbon monoxide alarm, which will warn you if dangerous levels accumulate within the passenger cabin.
Notice! The carbon monoxide alarm will never stop bleeping until you remove the batteries.