The room is filled with donuts. The chairs resemble donuts. A donut takes my coat as I awaken.

Note that the subject does not describe if they are cruellers or cake donuts. This may indicate a reluctance to analyze childhood. That the major motif is made from donuts suggests a hunger for affection.

The trees are all democrats and block out the sun. Luckily, a bird has caught fire and lends that burning glow to the forest, leading my way.

The subject was raised in a strongly Democratic household, probably by expatriate hippies. The burning bird, suggestive of the destruction of the environment, may indicate a fear that the parents will confiscate his gas-guzzling, terrorist-sponsoring SUV.

The path is easy to follow, for despite winding through the forest it is well-worn. Bare, grey rocks smoothed by hundreds of feet poke out of the light brown dirt. The trees laugh at me and make fun of my elbows.

Note that the trees mock the subject, again lending credence to the theory of a highly confrontational personality. The subject was probably the target of numerous beatings in high school.

The river is teeming with teams of eskimo travellers, pulled under the swirling surface by blinded dog sled teams. The water tastes like sin and ash, but cleans away any skin blemishes. I think the river is a liberal

Again we return to the theme of the destruction of the environment. Note that the subject is unapologetic. As long as he gets laid regularly, he doesn’t care about the future.

That is strange! It is a can of Tab, but oddly enough its contents are revealed to be Diet Cherry Coke. However, it is powdered Diet Cherry Coke, and I can drink from the Tab can only after I fill it with water from the river

It takes no strain of the imagination to interpret “Powdered Cherry Coke” as an euphemism for cocaine. The subject wants to marry into the drug trade, or possibly into the Bush family.

The key is shaped like Darva Conger and it unlocks the door to my crotch, where trouble brews.

Obviously, the subject wants to become a professional prostitute. Discretion is for wimps, the subject says: his outward appearance will be that of the most lewd gigolo.