Widely regarded as the greatest thing since sliced bread. Modest, too.

Forced out of the haven of academia early, Robert apprenticed with some of the best that the Silicon Valley had to offer. After a group of vulture capitalist raiders slaughtered the only people he could ever call “family,” he embarked on a seven-year trek to retaliate, joining numerous start-up tribes in his quest for experience points and power-ups.

Sadly, vengeance proved elusive as the head vulture had died years earlier from an infected paper cut received while counting his ill-gotten gains. Destitute and aimless, Robert took to drinking excessively to drown his sorrows.

After recovering from a three-day bender, Robert found himself once again in the hallowed halls of academia where he was forced to kowtow to professors obviously lesser than he. Eventually his contempt was noted and he was unceremoniously ejected. Today he roams the ruins of this once-proud land, scavenging what he can along with other refugees of the recent dot-com holocaust.

• Acquire gainful (or even standstill!) employment;
• Apply legitimate artificial intelligence techniques to illegitimate psychological evaluations;
• Use constraint programming techniques to animate algebraic program specifications;
• Relocate the Smogmobile Research Labs to a friendlier clime;
• Finish writing his bad science fiction epic;
• Develop a race of genetically-enhanced catgirl ninjas to seize control of the nation-state of Andorra; and
• Not go insane.